Couples Therapy for OCD! Can you find healing for serious issues like PTSD, Eating Disorders, OCD within a couple dynamic or do you need to seek out therapy individually?
I specialize in OCD, and often I use the couple and/or family system to find a healing path for my clients. Couples therapy is proving to be so useful for clients, as they are already part of a system that they live in every day. When individuals come into my office alone, I still know they are part of a system, and oddly enough that system comes right in and settles in the office with the individual…..their ideas, their impact on the client and the impact the client has on them! Regardless of sitting alone with a person, the many nuances of the system to which they belong (couple, family, friendship) are in the therapy, and present issues that my client will be faced with at home, therefore, they must be faced and managed also in therapy. Excellent therapy does not occur in a vacuum but rather, in an open and inclusive atmosphere that embraces each couple system with hope, and specific therapeutic interventions.
Recently, a partner to one of my dear clients was able to take a powerful role in being a therapeutic healing agent for his partner, it was AMAZING! He looked at his loved one and said “You are not the problem, You are not the mistake, the OCD is the problem, you simply made a mistake” the partner HEARD this and was able to internalize this truth, and internalize her value. Her partner had been practicing reflection skills, and cognitive behavior skills, as well as deepening empathy and compassion. This couple is working to manage OCD and its severe impact on their lives. As couples join forces in managing issues that either one faces, or issues of conflict they face between each other, they build a stronger dynamic for increased fulfillment and joy in the relationship, while also beginning to depend on each other to support the therapeutic process outside of my office.
Increased intimacy is often the result of learning the many reflective listening skills I teach and “practicing” these skills in the office with me more as a coach as the couple embarks on their own adventure. I treasure the moments of working with couples on finding the true emotion under their words, and discovering the negative interaction patterns that hold them in conflict. Listening is one thing, but listening so closely that you are able to repeat the partner’s words as well as capture the emotion, is a powerful skill, and a beautiful contribution to any couple system.
As a therapist my role is to support and point out the patterns, the emotions, look between the lines, watch the body language and help the couple connect current issues with old patterns, likely learned in childhood. As we work together to consider the story of the couple and investigate the various things each partner brings to the couple dynamic, great things occur, and quite quickly people find healing and are able to use their new skills, and new awareness in their homes.
We all come from some type of history, and that history includes a specific type of attachment we had with caregivers growing up, this critical information informs couples therapy, because knowing your own attachment style and your own trauma, then knowing the same details of your partner’s journey, brings great power to finding fulfillment and joy in relationship.
I view therapy as a journey forward, with occasional explorations into the past toward building what is needed in the present. Often it feels like dipping my foot in a lake, I only dip it far enough to know the temperature, same concept with couples therapy, dip our awareness into past events and specific occurrences that have shaped us, only enough to gather important details, then using this information to move in the present and create a wonderful and empowered future.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is experiential, active, validating and empowering. At times I employ the use of drums, toys, punching bags, bamboo pounding sticks, and toy swords….my client’s say they enjoy using these items to demonstrate the actual problem, occasionally acting out the problem, then acting out their new interactions, and their victories. As a Sand Tray Therapist I will also engage couples in investigating their relationship via sand tray and personal figures. This has proven to be a profound experience for my clients, and for myself.
For all couples I utilize this beautiful modality Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, and for some couples I add Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and Narrative Therapy, to help clients engage in their own healing, find active and interactive things to do at home, and believe in the truth that they are able to make changes. My office is like an experimental lab, a place to practice so many valuable and strengthening concepts, then my client’s go out into their own worlds and try these new strategies, then return to me and discuss what worked, what needs to be tweaked and practiced, what was not useful.
When practicing new interactional styles in therapy, we first must determine the old ones, and discover where conflict arises. Armed with this information we forge ahead into the work of couple’s therapy. Couple’s therapy works! Even for a couple who is not struggling with intense conflict, but one partner is battling with some form of mental concern, like OCD, PTSD, Eating Disorder, couples or family therapy is the answer for moving people into health.
Couples therapy does not necessarily mean always meeting with a couple, at times I meet with one partner, then the other, then join again in the team. My client is the relationship itself, and all its interworking parts, and an essential fact for all couple’s therapists to know is
The problem is the problem, the client is never the problem…..in other words if you are seeking support with OCD, the OCD is the problem, you are not the problem, your marriage is not the problem.
The great joy I experience in Couples Therapy is shared by my clients as they tell me they are excited and feeling “lighter” and “more connected” with each session. For individuals working toward overcoming the tendrils of OCD, couples therapy can be extremely powerful and impacting. Often the partner is already so enmeshed in the OCD that their input is critical, and they also are in need of healing support. The brain is able to change, we are able to impact our own world through therapy, relationships are able to change and people can live the satisfying life they are seeking. While OCD is “the problem” for so many people, together in therapy there are answers, solutions, new adventures, and new things to explore. Couples Therapy is a great place to re-write your adventure, or simply get back on the path you lost on your journey. If you need healing for an issue like OCD, PTSD, Anxiety, Tourette Syndrome, or if you are experiencing conflict, or lack of intimacy, difficulty interacting; Couples Therapy is likely the answer to a brighter and more meaningful future relationship.
I specialize in OCD, and often I use the couple and/or family system to find a healing path for my clients. Couples therapy is proving to be so useful for clients, as they are already part of a system that they live in every day. When individuals come into my office alone, I still know they are part of a system, and oddly enough that system comes right in and settles in the office with the individual…..their ideas, their impact on the client and the impact the client has on them! Regardless of sitting alone with a person, the many nuances of the system to which they belong (couple, family, friendship) are in the therapy, and present issues that my client will be faced with at home, therefore, they must be faced and managed also in therapy. Excellent therapy does not occur in a vacuum but rather, in an open and inclusive atmosphere that embraces each couple system with hope, and specific therapeutic interventions.
Recently, a partner to one of my dear clients was able to take a powerful role in being a therapeutic healing agent for his partner, it was AMAZING! He looked at his loved one and said “You are not the problem, You are not the mistake, the OCD is the problem, you simply made a mistake” the partner HEARD this and was able to internalize this truth, and internalize her value. Her partner had been practicing reflection skills, and cognitive behavior skills, as well as deepening empathy and compassion. This couple is working to manage OCD and its severe impact on their lives. As couples join forces in managing issues that either one faces, or issues of conflict they face between each other, they build a stronger dynamic for increased fulfillment and joy in the relationship, while also beginning to depend on each other to support the therapeutic process outside of my office.
Increased intimacy is often the result of learning the many reflective listening skills I teach and “practicing” these skills in the office with me more as a coach as the couple embarks on their own adventure. I treasure the moments of working with couples on finding the true emotion under their words, and discovering the negative interaction patterns that hold them in conflict. Listening is one thing, but listening so closely that you are able to repeat the partner’s words as well as capture the emotion, is a powerful skill, and a beautiful contribution to any couple system.
As a therapist my role is to support and point out the patterns, the emotions, look between the lines, watch the body language and help the couple connect current issues with old patterns, likely learned in childhood. As we work together to consider the story of the couple and investigate the various things each partner brings to the couple dynamic, great things occur, and quite quickly people find healing and are able to use their new skills, and new awareness in their homes.
We all come from some type of history, and that history includes a specific type of attachment we had with caregivers growing up, this critical information informs couples therapy, because knowing your own attachment style and your own trauma, then knowing the same details of your partner’s journey, brings great power to finding fulfillment and joy in relationship.
I view therapy as a journey forward, with occasional explorations into the past toward building what is needed in the present. Often it feels like dipping my foot in a lake, I only dip it far enough to know the temperature, same concept with couples therapy, dip our awareness into past events and specific occurrences that have shaped us, only enough to gather important details, then using this information to move in the present and create a wonderful and empowered future.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is experiential, active, validating and empowering. At times I employ the use of drums, toys, punching bags, bamboo pounding sticks, and toy swords….my client’s say they enjoy using these items to demonstrate the actual problem, occasionally acting out the problem, then acting out their new interactions, and their victories. As a Sand Tray Therapist I will also engage couples in investigating their relationship via sand tray and personal figures. This has proven to be a profound experience for my clients, and for myself.
For all couples I utilize this beautiful modality Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, and for some couples I add Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and Narrative Therapy, to help clients engage in their own healing, find active and interactive things to do at home, and believe in the truth that they are able to make changes. My office is like an experimental lab, a place to practice so many valuable and strengthening concepts, then my client’s go out into their own worlds and try these new strategies, then return to me and discuss what worked, what needs to be tweaked and practiced, what was not useful.
When practicing new interactional styles in therapy, we first must determine the old ones, and discover where conflict arises. Armed with this information we forge ahead into the work of couple’s therapy. Couple’s therapy works! Even for a couple who is not struggling with intense conflict, but one partner is battling with some form of mental concern, like OCD, PTSD, Eating Disorder, couples or family therapy is the answer for moving people into health.
Couples therapy does not necessarily mean always meeting with a couple, at times I meet with one partner, then the other, then join again in the team. My client is the relationship itself, and all its interworking parts, and an essential fact for all couple’s therapists to know is
The problem is the problem, the client is never the problem…..in other words if you are seeking support with OCD, the OCD is the problem, you are not the problem, your marriage is not the problem.
The great joy I experience in Couples Therapy is shared by my clients as they tell me they are excited and feeling “lighter” and “more connected” with each session. For individuals working toward overcoming the tendrils of OCD, couples therapy can be extremely powerful and impacting. Often the partner is already so enmeshed in the OCD that their input is critical, and they also are in need of healing support. The brain is able to change, we are able to impact our own world through therapy, relationships are able to change and people can live the satisfying life they are seeking. While OCD is “the problem” for so many people, together in therapy there are answers, solutions, new adventures, and new things to explore. Couples Therapy is a great place to re-write your adventure, or simply get back on the path you lost on your journey. If you need healing for an issue like OCD, PTSD, Anxiety, Tourette Syndrome, or if you are experiencing conflict, or lack of intimacy, difficulty interacting; Couples Therapy is likely the answer to a brighter and more meaningful future relationship.
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